


New In-Laws

by Jupiterra



Series: Heart Of Hearing Universe [4]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Complete, F/M, Germany Is A Good Dad, Slice of Life, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:02:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29878794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jupiterra/pseuds/Jupiterra
Summary: Lorenzo is terrified of his accidental family additions.
Relationships: Belgium/South Italy (Hetalia)
Series: Heart Of Hearing Universe [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2196768
Kudos: 4





	New In-Laws

**Author's Note:**

> To be read after Party Pooper.

Ludwig was not expecting his daughter Leanne to show up in the middle of the night, tearful and sputtering. It took several attempts and a cup of tea to string the truth together. Once settled and hugging a dog patterned couch cushion, the loved daughter calmed enough to speak.

“Now… Why are you so upset?” Ludwig prompted, sitting beside her with crossed legs.

Leanne sniffled, sipping her tea. “I… I like a guy a lot. I hooked up with him a few times. My period was late and I freaked out a lot and bought a pregnancy test and… It came back positive.”

Ludwig listened with little expression, internally screaming. Leanne had clearly stated on many occasions she didn’t want children. She was determined to devote her life to her career while young. Ludwig understood the motivation well, still a brazen workaholic himself.

He didn’t know what to say to the news, so gave her a soothing back pat instead. She leaned into the comforts, speaking more worries and terrors. “I didn’t plan for this, and I… I don’t know what to do. I don’t have savings, my car is shit. I’m completely invested in the cat cafe. I’m so scared, dad.”

“Money is just money. Do you want to keep the child?” Ludwig spoke with as much kindness as he could summon. It wasn’t much on the surface, but an ocean of love beneath. Expression was  **_not_ ** his strong suit.

Once more, Leanne was his vulnerable young daughter. Mr. B hugged her as she quietly whispered. “I… I do. I don’t want to kill it. I want to keep it.”

“Does the father know?”

Leanne shuddered a soft sob. “I don’t know. I left a bunch of messages but he won’t pick up his phone.”

“Don’t cry Leanne. Daddy will take care of this.” These words were dead serious as they came from Ludwig. No one messed with his children and survived. Leanne smiled up to him, absolutely confident in this promise.

* * *

Lorenzo was curled up in the darkness of his small house, stress eating fresh Italian cookies. He had heard the message on his phone three days ago, but froze over the news. He wasn’t father material, he was  _ barely _ business co-owner material. The terrified brunette wasn’t ready for so much responsibility.

On the verge of a swear filled stress attack, Lorenzo let extra employees take care of the cat cafe. It wasn’t that fucking hard to hold down the fort. Answer the phones, clean the place, and serve food. It wasn’t goddamn astrophysics.

In the privacy of darkness, Lorenzo’s aging Dad was heard through a window. Romulus was quite old, but fathered at least six kids across Europe. He took them all into his heart and home, giving them full entitlement to his millions of dollars and international properties. Not every parent was a retired university professor and former CEO of a trade company.

“Lorenzo! Be a sweetheart and open the door!” Dad called out from outside.

_ “ _ **_NO!_ ** _ ” _ Lorenzo shouted back, hiding under his bed covers.

Dad would not give up, as stubborn as they come. “I love you very much, but two angry Germans are here to talk to you about a certain lady.”

Lorenzo swore, having forgotten how loony Leanne’s family was. The albino uncle was willing to kidnap people, or confuse basil with oregano. Both these things were equal crimes. Turning on a lamp, Lorenzo stacked a few pieces of furniture against the door. That should stop the insane bastards.

“Okay, so I’m going to let these gentlemen in now.” Dad called from inside the house, much closer.

**_“ARE YOU CRAZY!?”_ ** Lorenzo shouted, turning off the lamp. He hid behind his bed, then slipped under it.

“Nein, I am awesome!” It was the terribly obnoxious voice of that Gilbert guy. A minute later, the bedroom door knob rattled. There was a softer voice, following Gilbert’s. Lorenzo could barely pick out the words of an obvious question.

The horrible truth was revealed in Dad’s happy reply. “No, it’s fine. You can chop the door open.”

**_“THIS IS PROPERTY DAMAGE! I’LL SUE!”_ ** Lorenzo threatened, quaking under his bed. The drumming thud of heavy metal on wood interrupted his idle yells. Holy shit, they  _ were _ chopping the door open. Within minutes, a sizable hole was made. An icy blue eye peered in, accompanied by a monotone threat.

“Do not make this harder for yourself, Italian.”

Lorenzo quivered and tried to become smaller. After five more minutes, the door was efficiently mangled in half. A lean older man with light grey hair pushed the furniture away from the hole, wielding a wood cutting axe. He climbed in, followed by a shorter albino. The lights flickered on, revealing steel blue eyes from the unknown male. They were trained on Lorenzo like a hunting dog.

“So this is the idiot that knocked up our girl.” Gilbert snickered, welding a metal baseball bat.

_ “Dad, help me!” _ Lorenzo squeaked, terrified. The brothers dragged Lorenzo out of hiding via teamwork and pinned him to the wall. “I don’t want to die!” the trapped man wailed in Italian.

“My daughter is pregnant. She wants to keep the baby, and for some reason she likes you. You will take care of her, or my brother will break your legs.” The father threatened flatly, just as calm as a serial killer would be. The uncle grinned and winked at this promise, looking far too happy about it.

“Isn’t this romantic? My first forced wedding was in Seborgia, I knocked up a waitress at a cafe. Sebastian ended up being such a good boy!” Dad crooned, forever a lover of women.   
  
“Dad, you’re not helping!” Lorenzo sniveled, quite miserable.

The two attackers exchanged words in presumably German. “Okay. Let’s get this over with.” The albino spoke. He warmed up his batting arm with a stretch, then grabbed the weapon. The bat was given a few test swings, then targeted at the Italian’s heels.

Lorenzo pulled up his one leg instinctively. “No, no, no, no, NO, OKAY! Okay! I’ll do it! I’ll do I swear to god, don’t kill me, I want to live!” Lorenzo cried, so scared he might piss himself. The bat had left a sizeable dent in the drywall.

“Good boy. I knew you would see reason.” Leanne’s father hummed in approval, letting go. Lorenzo sank to the floor, trembling and frightened.

Gilbert glared at him in thinly veiled aggression. “If you try to run,  _ mein bruder _ will find you. I can promise this.” After a long minute, serial killer mode deactivated in both the Germans.

Dad cheered, impossible to piss off. “Isn’t it nice to gain new family and friends? Gilbert, you’ll be coming to dinner next week right?”

Gilbert replied quickly, cocking finger guns at the elder in a friendly manner. “Only if you come to my brother’s house for game night.”

Dad was unbearably happy, bidding the duo goodbye. After the assholes left, Lorenzo confronted his father in the aesthetically pleasing kitchen. “What the fuck was that dad? You were going to let them break my foot!”

“You don’t understand my little tomato! I’m finally going to have a grandchild I can love and spend money on!” Dad was practically singing as he mixed and pressed homemade lasagna noodles. “We’ll have a beautiful wedding to celebrate, my treat of course.”

Lorenzo reeled and gasped for panicked breaths. What fresh hell had he fallen into?


End file.
